Runaway Daria : Where No Cynic Has Gone Before
by Kairan1979
Summary: Daria left home after the argument between her parents in the episode Boxing Daria. Abducted by aliens, she tries to survive in a cutthroat world of space pirates and mercenaries. (This story started as a response to IC : Runaway Daria).
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

As the leader of the infamous Ravagers, Yondu Udonta was a business man first and foremost. He had been accustomed to all forms of depravity, and barely batted an eye at his customers' outrageous requests... at least if the price was right.

Still, you have to draw a line somewhere, if you want to be respectable, not just rich. And that led Yondu to his current dilemma.

The Centaurian made it clear to all the new recruits that cannibalism is forbidden. But Hun, one of his top Enforcers, didn't heed the message. In order to satisfy his urges, the large Raptor made the unauthorized visits to the primitive planets. He kidnapped the humanoid children, and devoured them alive in the secret underground apartment he rent on Xandar using a false name. Yondu learned about it by accident when he investigated the unrelated case of embezzlement.

Hun's love for exotic raw meat earned him the notification of early retirement and the extra hole drilled in his head. Yondu dealt with rogue Raptor personally, and it wasn't because he felt sorry for the children. As explained above, the Centaurian was a business man first and foremost, and turned a blind eye to his people's hobbies as long as they get the job done. But Hun ignored the direct orders, and if Yondu allowed him to get away with blatant disobedience, only The Watcher knows what he tries next.

Yondu Udonta was in quandary of what to do next. Hun's latest acquisition staring back at him wasn't helpful in the slightest.

Kidnapping wasn't uncommon in Yondu's line of work, and he saw all kinds of the children's behavior. He saw tears, eyes wide with fear, even the petulant princes who threatened him with the names of their parents.

But the Terran Girl (Hun never bothered to learn her name) intrigued the Centaurian. If she was scared, she hid it well. She just sat and stared, her thoughtful brown eyes moving from Yondu and his bodyguards to Hun's corpse on the floor and then back again. Her gaze met his and the Chief Ravager instantly knew he wasn't dealing with the ordinary child.

As a business man first and foremost, Yondu knew that the chance to acquire something worthwhile comes in many forms. The trick is not to miss the opportunity. So instead of following the common sense and getting rid of the girl he decided to adopt a wait-and-see approach.

 _First thing first, let's see if she can be taught to speak Galactic Standard instead of gibberish she uses. If Terran Girl is too stupid to learn, I can always toss her in the airlock and forget about her._


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1.**

Daria was always disgusted by her sister's immaturity and the temper tantrums she was throwing on the regular basis. In hindsight, running away from home in the middle of the night with almost no money and a bare minimum of essential was just as childish as Quinn's outbursts. It was a little too late, but Daria acknowledged that she screwed up.

In his own sick way, the lizard-like kidnapper did her a favor. He showed how fragile she truly was. The collection of 'trophies' proudly mounted on the walls of the underground apartment helped to drive the point home; death was no longer an abstract concept.

 _I am alone. Wherever this planet is, Earth is light-years away. If I die tomorrow, nobody will know and nobody will care._

If the alien kidnapper wanted Daria to cry out and beg him to let her go, the girl did her best to disappoint him. She managed to hold herself together under the hungry gaze of the lizardman. She kept silence when he tried to scare her with the show of teeth. When he demonstrated the collection of 'trophies', her nails sunk into her palms; it was the only way to stop herself from screaming.

The real test of self-control came later, when the blue-skinned man with a Mohawk "rescued" her. The nonchalant look on his face when he killed the lizardman was way scarier than the mad glint in the kidnapper's eyes. But the inner stubbornness she inherited from Mad Dog Morgendorffer had reared its head once more and Daria met the newcomer's gaze without flinching.

Daria didn't bother trying to escape when he made the universal gesture to follow him. With her lack of knowledge about the new world, trying to flee was an exercise in futility.

To distract herself from the scene of grievous murder, Daria used the time between underground apartment and the spaceport by trying to figure out what makes her 'savior' tick.

He certainly wasn't acting like a Federal Marshall who just shot the notorious train robber. Nor he looked like an angry father avenging the death of his child. _Could he be a mercenary?_ Daria's only sources of information about the hired guns were the old issues of Soldiers of Fortune from the Highland Public Library, but she was fairly certain the mercenaries don't walk with two huge bodyguards at the side.

 _The look in his eyes… I swear, this man could as well wear 'Nothing personal, just business.' badge on his coat._

Once Daria was inside the starship, a woman with catlike features gave her a red jumpsuit to replace the girls' ruined clothes. Then Daria was taken to the small cabin next to the storage area. The woman showed her how to use the facilities, and then left her alone, sensing the girl's exhaustion.

When the lights in went off and nobody could see her face, the events of the last days – the kidnapping, the loss of home and the uncertain future - finally came crushing upon her fragile mental defences. Daria clutched the pillow tightly and silently wept.

 **0000000**

Agent Phil Coulson put the car keys in the pocket and smiled benevolently, seeing the impatience on the face of Abigail Brand. She was standing next to the Morgendorffers' mailbox, the heel of her right shoe tapping the pavement.

The green-haired woman snarled at him, "You sure took your time, Coulson."

"Some of us don't abuse alien technology to jump from the orbit and back."

"Some of us don't embrace their inner geek by using ancient flying cars."

Coulson's red Chevrolet Corvette, Lola, was a unique model made by Howard Stark himself in 1962. It was a gem of Phil's collection of the S.H.I.E.L.D.-related memorabilia and he took offence every time somebody implied the car is only good as museum piece.

 _Nice try, Brand. It could even work if we still were rookie agents._

"Can we skip the obligatory exchange of insults and go straight to the business?"

"Coulson, there's nothing to discuss. Let S.W.O.R.D. ***** handle this case. If we need your help, we'll send the request through the usual channels. "

Phil sighed; he didn't want to use his trump card but Brand left him no choice. _If only they weren't so touchy about their jurisdiction._

S.W.O.R.D. was created on August 17, 1947 soon after the Roswell UFO accident. It consisted mostly of the former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and the enthusiastic scientists. While the extra-terrestrial threats are more than real, the budget battles quickly became the most important battles in the life of the new agency. The Cold War was in full swing and S.H.I.E.L.D. never had problems with funding, while S.W.O.R.D. got breadcrumbs. Not to mention that formally the new agency had no jurisdiction on Earth unless it was an open altercation between aliens and humans. So they had to rely on S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to do the legwork. Naturally, it led to the resentment and the conscious efforts to put some distance between the two agencies.

The case of Daria Morgendorffer ("missing, presumed kidnapped") was in gray area; while the child was abducted, there was no firefight and no signs of the struggle. Coulson's superiors saw it as an opportunity to pull one over on S.W.O.R.D.

"I'm afraid, my dear Abigail, that you don't have all the facts. Take a look," he took the manilla envelope from the glove compartment and showed it to the female agent.

She opened the envelope and quickly flicked through the papers.

"One of _them_?" Brand let out a quiet expletive and glared at Coulson, knowing that she was outmaneuvered. "Fine, have fun with her parents. Maybe you'll be able to impress them with your precious car."

Phil waited patiently until Brand teleported back to The Peak, S.W.O.R.D.'s primary command base. He straightened his tie and brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his sleeve. Then he went straight to the front door and touched the doorbell.

An attractive woman in her forties opened the door, gave him a quick once-over and said, "Whatever you are selling, I'm not interested."

"Mrs. Morgendorffer, I presume? May I come in? It's about your daughter..."

 **0000000**

Helen was staring at the empty coffee cup as if it had the answers to all the mysteries of the universe.

Who could have thought her fight with Jake and his impulsive decision to spend the night away from home could have such dire repercussions?

 _No, I'm not going to play the blame game. Not today._

To make things worse, she wasn't even aware that Daria's ran away until Agent Coulson told her.

Helen let out a sob, remembering her initial disbelief that the quiet serious girl can do something as dramatic. But Daria's short note was a clear indication that their elder daughter overheard everything they said (more like yelled) to each other. The absence of her backpack and her personal belongings including the not-so-secret stash of money meant that she was deadly serious about leaving.

To be fair, when the man you've never seen before claims that your daughter is abducted by the aliens, nobody expects you to take him seriously. You either call the authorities or look for the hidden cameras.

He pulled out his badge and Helen's world came crashing down.

She knew only two things about S.H.I.E.L.D; the agency hidden under the ludicrous acronym exists, and it was responsible for turning Robert Morgendorffer into Mad Dog, the nightmare of Jake's youth.

Coulson left, giving Helen his business card 'just in case.' He promised to deal with the necessary paperwork so she doesn't have to speak to the authorities. He was politeness itself but Helen wasn't fooled in the slightest. So she wasn't caught off guard when he gave her a warning.

" _If you try to alert the media, we'll deny everything. Only a bunch of crackpots takes the stories about alien abductions seriously. Think what it's going to do to your reputation. Your employers will push you into seeking professional help even if they are sympathetic to your plight._

" _Not only your professional image will be in tatters; your marital problems will come to light,"_ he added mercilessly. _"People will speculate about the real reason of Daria's escape and question whether you are suitable guardians for Quinn. Trust me; you don't want to open this particular can of worms."_

Helen could sense danger lurking beneath the soft façade and knew that Coulson had them over the barrel.

 _Goodness, how I'm going to tell Jake about his visit? One mention of S.H.I.E.L.D. and his blood pressure goes through the roof!_

 **0000000**

Ch'od ****** stared down at the three-dimensional board with no expression on his green scaly face except for the flaring nostrils.

Ten rounds ago he failed to prevent the Non-Aggression Pact between Kree and Skrulls. Now his Shi'ar were systematically battered by the Kree warships and he barely held on two thirds of his former territory.

Ch'od glanced at the board again, reviewing and rejecting another plan of counterattack. If nothing changes soon, he is going to lose. And he hated losing.

"She should be here by now."

Raza Longknife just shrugged and gave no answer. The pointy-eared cyborg already made his move, establishing the new Skrull outpost dangerously close to the unofficial border. Now they were waiting for Hepzibah who was playing for Kree.

They have been friends for ages – the large Saurid, brash and proud; the passionate feline-like woman and the indomitable cyborg warrior, the last of his people.

Ch'od decided to ask Raza if he knew something about Hepzibah's new assignment. The cyborg never got the chance to answer, as the door was opened and the feline-like woman entered the room.

"What did I miss?" One glance at the board, and Hepzibah made her move. Ch'od cringed as he saw his mining colony destroyed by the orbital bombardment.

 _Here goes the rearmament of my fleet._

In a move borne out of desperation, Ch'od sent a signal to his infiltrators. They blew up the university at the Kree capital.

 _Not exactly what I had in mind, but every little bit helps._

Waiting for the next round to start, Ch'od asked Hepzibah about her reassignment.

"Youndu caught Hun reverting to his old habits," the woman's face hardened, "I knew he wasn't right in the head, but preying on kids and keeping _trophies_ is a new low even for him."

Raza's remaining eye narrowed, "Please tell me the Boss sent Hun on the one-way trip to the grave. If he didn't, I will."

Hepzibah gave an indulgent smile and shrugged her graceful shoulders, "Well, did you expect Boss to do something else?"

Ch'od nodded; Yondu always paid his debts and never tolerated disobedience, especially if it affected his public image.

"And the girl?"

"The girl was his latest victim. I was as surprised as you when I found out that he brought her to the ship."

Ch'od silently agreed that it was strange. Yondu wasn't known for taking in strays.

Raza sharply asked, "And your orders...?"

"To look after the girl and teach her Galactic Common. That's all I know… Enough with the small talk, Raza! Make your move already!"

Raza started to relocate a part of his fleet but the life threw a monkey wrench in his plans. On the way from one star system to another Skrull ships encountered Ego the Living Planet and were destroyed.

Ch'od tried (and failed) not to look smug at the sight of Raza's misfortune.

Some people will say that he is just being a sore loser, but that kind of behavior was natural for all the Saurids.

It doesn't matter if it was just a friendly game of Dominion, and your opponents are your best friends. Ch'od would fight tooth and nail to win.

 **0000000**

"…I return to the hotel room and find the message from One-Eye. I have to return to New York ASAP. Of course my vacation was ruined. I swear he enjoys it!"

Abigail Brand listened to him with half an ear while paying attention to the road.

 _Coulson doesn't know how lucky he is to have Nick Fury as a boss._

The old One-Eye can be a paranoid moody bastard but he is also the grizzled veteran who has been through and seen everything in war. He'll never forget what it's like to be a foot soldier.

The head of S.W.O.R.D. was nothing like Fury. Henry Guyrich was a bureaucrat to the core, who often used his skills of a politician to compensate for the lack of competence. Privately Abigail thought she was much better suited for the job, but the part-alien heritage worked against her.

Guyrich's decision to appeal to the Security Council ultimately backfired on him. Councilman Yen voiced his opinion that the ongoing rivalry between two agencies is counterproductive. In a rare display of unity, the rest of the Council agreed. Agent Brand ended up working together with Agent Coulson on the Morgendorffer case.

Abigail already put out some feelers to see if their otherworldly sources have information on the ship that took Daria. Meanwhile she arranged another meeting with the girl's family. Abigail planned to play the good cop because the part of bad cop was already reserved by her colleague from S.H.I.E.L.D.

 _Too bad_ _I'm stuck between rock and a hard place. Guyrich blatantly hinted that wants me to make only a token effort; Councilman Yen was clear he expects a breakthrough in this case. Either way, it's unlikely that I'll be promoted. All hail the Security Council and its eternal wisdom!_

Oblivious to her dilemma, Coulson kept talking, "I requested the unredacted version of the dossier on Mad Dog Morgendorffer. As soon as you get the clearance…"

"Phil, do you ever feel that we are wasting our time?"

Coulson blinked owlishly before he frowned, "What do you mean?"

"What if the girl is already dead?"

Daria was smart, there's no argument about it. But the inherent stubbornness and zero respect to any form of authority figure will be her downfall. In the real world mouthing off to the wrong person ends up with your guts spilled on the floor.

Coulson gave her an enigmatic smile and said, "I won't count her out quite yet."

Brand could not find it within herself to argue. Phil Coulson was a good agent but his obsession with Captain America led to an unfortunate side effect: an overabundance of optimism.

* * *

 _ *****_ _S.W.O.R.D. – Sentient World Observation and Response Department. A counterterrorism and intelligence agency. Its main purpose is to deal with extraterrestrial threats to world security._

 _ ******_ _In canon Marvel universe Ch'od, Raza Longknife and Hepzibah are a part of_ _Starjammers_ _(a group of space pirates led by Major Christopher Summers, the father of Cyclops). I do not intend to introduce any X-Men characters, so don't be surprised if their biographies are changed._


End file.
